The forging of a new beginning

It's so precarious,
tenuous,
delicate,
fragile.
I'm shaking
Coming disjointed
By the sharp edges
Of expectation gone awry
Too many times
These little doll parts and my glass heart.

So in the here and now
Every moment is cherished.
Every word, reconsidered.
Vulnerability encapsulated
By moments
Both reminiscent and new
To which comparison
Fails to establish a threshold
In times like these,
The delete key is my friend.
The send button:
A world upon which is placed every hope.
Don't fuck it up, Marshall.
Not this time.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that" keeps me up most of the night.
Awaiting the wave of rebuttal.
Or silence.
You have yet to let me down.
Maybe this time you won't.
And maybe this time, I won't.
Perhaps today
We're improved versions of ourselves
Because in this symphony, thus far
You've played every note to perfection.
Even though I know,
I'm always on the verge of being out of key.
We're yet to find the right tone.
Between what it should be and what it can.

Maybe this is the way new starts are forged.
Painstakingly,
Filled with doubt.
I really really hope you stick around.
And that I pull myself together.