Time

It's been a year and a day since I lost someone I knew. Or thought I knew. It will likely always plague me, the uncertainty of whether I knew him at all.

The fact of that loss is something I have come up to and run away from numerous times. I don't do well with loss. I don't do well with change. I don't do well with grieving. And I keep coming upon the notion that it is necessary to accept it, while conversely convincing myself that maybe it isn't and I'm just exaggerating that loss or change.

Similarly, it's been a month since I discovered that the person I thought I knew, I in fact did not.

New questions to ask. New losses to grieve. New plans to build.

It's funny how so much can happen.

The question of do you ever really know anybody? bothers me frequently.

The question of change vs. constant in a person? so often confounding.

The question of what do I put above what? exhausts me most of the day.

Which hand to play?
Which hand to play?
Which hand to play?

Us children and our silly games.