The Horizon

I'm not saying it's going to stop.

It's a given that self-discovery, self-improvement, the voyage will continue.
It must continue, to some degree.
That is the very nature of the human condition.
We must perpetually struggle to learn about ourselves, to decipher the things we have done, to discern who we wish to be, and then of course, the battle and the effort to align ourselves with that which we want.
All of which is of course, extremely difficult.

For the past 8 months or so, I have been intensely on such a journey. It's as if I had slowly been washed out to sea. As though for years I was becoming untethered, lost to myself and my truth.
And then, suddenly, I needed to return to the shore of myself.

That struggle, that return, has been my own personal odyssey. And it has been excruciatingly painful and extremely difficult. The unearthing of ugly truths, of beautiful facts, of deeply entrenched conflicts. Learning about people, about relationships, and above all, about myself. It's been terrifying. It's been soul-crushing and fulfilling. It's been challenging and loving. But mostly, it's been very scary and very hard.

And it's ongoing.
I'm not done yet.
By one argument, I will never be done, because (as I'm discovering) life is not stagnant, it keeps moving.
But at the same time, I can see an end to this period of intense introspection and growth. I can see it on the horizon, even if I haven't reached it yet.

And I have to wonder: what the hell am I going to think about and talk about if not this?
For almost a year I feel like I have been having 3 long conversations with many people in a sort of tapestry of learning.
And as I see those lengthy discourses coming to an end, I can't help but wonder if I will be boring and have nothing to say in their wake?