You gotta look before you go

Wisdom and emotion.
Like Locke and Jack warring within me
A haze of confusion
That spins and whirls and leads nowhere.

I'm supposed to know what exactly?
I'm supposed to be who, exactly?
Drawn to the words those red red lips utter
About time and patience
And the eating of an elephant.

I shy away from the loss
And hold on to the glitter
For long moments
After it's done lasting
Wishing to make that square peg round
And knowing better than the wish
But pushing it anyway
Pleading ignorance to myself
And feeling the fool
All the while.
All the while.

I think about regret a lot
Do you regret being dumb
Or not following
Your emotions more?

Can you trust your feelings,
When they are inherently entangled
In fear and guilt
In stupidity
In mistakes?

Can you trust your judgment,
When it is so often wrong?
And bound up
In trying to find redemption?
In making
The equation equal out
Somehow.

And so I am undone
Because I trust neither.
And Neo tells me
"Just sit quietly
The answers will come."

Will they?