Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Can you relate?

I've been thinking about the human condition.
I've come to the conclusion that for all of our ambitions and faltering and dreams and strife, war and peace, new running shoes, blah blah blah, none of it matters.
The human condition is about relating and nothing more.
I used to know a boy who talked about relating and degrees of relating between people, was truly fascinated by the concept, and I just waved him and his notions away like the annoying insect I generally treated him as.

I always struggled with concepts of: are people good or bad? why do we exist? what is the point of life? is there meaning to be found?
And I came to the conclusion that we, as humans, are simply part of the evolutionary process.
That this process is ongoing and that our purpose is to move that process in the right direction.
Call it the Star Trek direction, a way of life where materialism doesn't matter and moral standards are high.

And I could accept that I should live to participate in that process. To make the world better.

But now I'm starting to think that while that may be the purpose of some higher power or whatever, on the ground, all we are really about is relating.

For instance, it has been proven time and again that we cannot survive in isolation. Firstly, we would die at a young age, were we truly to be isolated. But let's say you get past the infant/toddler stage. As they say in "Singles": "People need people." Because the fact is that without other people, without others to relate to we become very unhappy, very lonely and eventually, we go insane. We get cabin fever. And you gotta ask yourself, why that is. Because, biologically, you don't actually need other people. You can survive just fine on your own, with the help of a water and sewage system, and grocery stores and sufficient shelter.

On a very basic psychological level, human beings require other human beings. But for what purpose? The answer: to relate.

Consider further why so many choose to believe in god. And fashion god as being human-like. It is so that they can understand and relate to a body that they care about.

Why do we assign human thoughts and emotions to animals? Or infants? They don't think in that silly voice and with those complicated ideas that we assign them. But we do that, so as to relate to these beings that we otherwise cannot relate and empathize with.

Similarly, why do I project human feelings onto my little stuffed dog, Harper? He has no feelings. He is an inanimate object. And yet, he always looks sad to me.

We do these things because our function is to associate and feel joined and empathize. Postsecret itself clearly demonstrates that people ultimately just want to avoid feeling alone.

But relating is a complicated thing. What approach do we take to relating? I think that most people see themselves as heavily flawed, and likely see other people as much more put together. And different people play into that instinct differently.

Some run from it: isolating themselves, putting other people down, hiding their own flaws, bigging themselves up.

Others bow to it: having low self-esteem, assuming that they will never be as good as everyone else seems to be.

While others still resent those they see above them, relish in being better than others, and enjoy watching the "successful" fail.

I dunno. I can't be bothered thinking about this anymore. But it makes me think about who I relate to and how I do so generally and with different individuals and groups.

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