Sleeping is for wusses part 2

So, the inability to remain unconscious for any period of time despite my begging continues. Now I have pretty pills for that too, though I am too afraid to take them.

Anyway, I came across this old thing while wading through some stuff and although it is poorly written, it somehow captures the mood. By the way Charlie, this one was for you.

p.s. I am pretty sure that "Insomniatic" is not a real word, but fuck off. I will make up words if I want to, it's called 'creative license' people.

Filthy Dreams

He says when it rains
He can’t get out of bed
Funny my friend
Rain’s the only thing
That lets me sleep
It cools the fire
Under my skin
And melts the demons
Running free

Somewhere deep within
The smoke and sounds
Lies the outline of something
Beautiful and true
I'm always looking for
But not yet found
I’m counting on my guilty conscience
To save me from myself

In these endless
Cloak and dagger nightmares
I burry my wounds
In the burning flesh
At my feet
The effigy no one sees
You think you know
But you'll never be as full of filth as me.

Whatever good we might have been
Is all gone now, all gone now
All that’s left are these
Insomniatic nights and dawns and nights and dawns…

But I don’t scream like I used to
No more unconscious tears get through
I don’t cut like I used to
No more kitchen-knife wrist meeting midnights.

And maybe that's progress
Like the same devil
Only whose face is the change
These projected torments
Words repeated in cycle
But the meaning is rearranged

So let's try to get some sleep
In this window
While we're still able
To fade off into the nothingness
That encompasses all I need
Before all that’s left are these
Insomniatic nights and dawns and nights and dawns…