need a big loan from the girl zone

Dear Readers,

I am having one of those weeks where I wish I actually had some girlfriends to call.

I also wish that I was one of those people who actually called girls and chatted like girls chat. But I don't. I just don't have those relationships with anyone. It's not that I don't know chicks, I guess, it's just more that I don't have that kind of close confidant relationship with them.

During the years when Guy and I pushed and pulled each other apart, I didn't really confide in anyone. And then, when I finally ended our romantic relationship the world seemed to collectively fall over from shock. But no wonder, no one knew what was going on. Which is I guess why I started to write "Universal Atrophy" in the first place. To sort of make up for lost time, I guess.

Now I'm in the present and wish I could go curl up on someone's couch and talk about my problems and watch stupid movies and discuss hot celebrities and cry and just be a stupid girl. But I can't. Because there is no where to go and no one to do that with. Which is my fault for not being interested in such things until it suits me. I need an inflatable Beanie. With her own apartment. (you don't know what i'm talking about, so just nevermind)

Also, like every girl I know is fucking living with a man. So that would be too weird anyway. "Hey don't mind us". Every other girl is in the midst of a depressive episode. And I just can't be bothered with someone else's irrationality and problems right now. Is that selfish? Oh yeah, but this whole post is decidely so, so whatever.

I don't know. Maybe I'll just go to the library or something. Drown my sorrows in literature. God, I'm such a loser.