the spinal cord is connected to the ....

It was my and Milo's joint birthday party. It was a costume party in our apartment. I was wearing a mini skirt and these sort of platform high-heeled knee-high boots, which for a converse girl are a little much.

All was fun. All was well. A friend stayed over and slept on the couch. The next morning I could barely walk. I thought, whatever, it will pass. We went across the street for breakfast and after the meal, I fell while trying to get out of my chiar. My back just would not function, it would not hold me up. I couldn't stand.

This was how it began. I would discover over the next 2 days that I had herniated a disk in my lumbar spine and torn my lumbar spine muscles. Which, you know, isn't good.

Actually, that's a lie. That's not how it started. How it really started was one fine day in November. I had just finished an assignment for the bar and got the afternoon off. I called Milo and asked if he wanted me to pick him up some lunch. He said he wanted food from the crazy popular Greek place.

Now this place, it ALWAYS has line-ups that go on down the block. I finally went there one day the year before with my then boss to see what the big deal was. It is good food at reasonable prices with really large portions. Which is I guess the draw. But this place has obviously been around a long time and is rather famous in the city. At some point they must have expanded, because it's clear once you go in there that this place used to be two businesses and that they knocked down a few walls between the two places when they expanded. One thing they forgot to do though, was even out the floors.

Anyway, this day there were no lines. So I went in and asked where the take-out counter was. A waiter pointed me toward the back right area of the store. So I turn to go toward it and slip on the uneven wet tiled floor in my heels with a 60 lbs. back over my left shoulder and I go flying and twisting and falling all at once. I ended up falling into a table where this couple was eating thier lunch. It was so not smooth. And it hurt like a motherfucker. The asshole waiter didn't even ask if I was okay. I could barely walk after that.

Needless to say I went to the doctor the next day because there was this horrible pain going down my left leg, and she said that I had pinched my sciatic nerve. So it was rest and caution and hot and cold compresses, on and on, after that.

But, I guess I didn't take care of it properly (surprise surprise), because ever since then, my back has been acting weird and I get this strange pain in the base of my spine. I mention it to my doctor at the next visit. "Do some stretches" he says.

The next day is the party. So when I'm unable to even stand and in tremendous pain post-birthday party I know something ain't right. I did all the stuff they told me to do before, but it gets worse. So back to the doctor I go, then the physiotherapist. Pretty soon I'm told that I fucked up my sciatic situation by not taking care of it properly, that I herniated a disk in my spine, and that I tore the lumbar muscles. All from wearing high-heeled boots, which nobody can understand, except to tie to the original fall in November.

As one close friend put it: "You know, that kind of injury for no good reason, that's so you."
Damn you Stefo!! And your stupid uneven floor.

The moral of this story is: I am a moron who can do myself serious damage even while having a party.