12 Steps

They say that the path to hell is paved with good intentions
If this is the worst
If this is the price I end up paying for my sins
Then I should consider myself extremely fortunate
I'm not super inclined to feel extremely fortunate at the moment
But I know that I should be and one day I will be
Just not today.

So I am trying my best to be a good little follower
Of the rule book on how to behave
And to be grateful
That I didn't dig a hole bigger than this
And truly to be humble and thankful
Because it could have been so much worse
The price could have been so much higher

And from the outside
Everything is the same really
Isn't it?
I guess it's just me that's different
It's just me that's changed
The board is still the same
The pieces in the same place they were
What seems like a million years ago now
Just my internal fragments and compass, rearranged
So I'm working on building me some gratitude
Because it could have been much harder
Than the burden I'm carrying
And that's something
It really is