Blood pooling

You're lost to me
In a land of oaks
That I used to wander through
And past your old house
Next door to my pseudo family
We watched your kin
Through the whole in the fence
Where we buried our burdens in

Times like these when I know
I've got nothing good to say
And I've got nothing good to do
But run away
Cause it's a killing
Like a marionette puppet
Transparently trying
To live up the phantom
Of my own mythology
But never quite succeeding
Never quite grasping
The plot of this incarnation

And weighed down
By the effervescently chronic
Disappointment
Of failing to be

Blood forming a pool
In my thoughts
Stuck to the floor
Paralyzed by indecision
And the weight of too many
Conflicting senses
The diminishing ideas
Of someone monstrous and weak

With a rage fit for a queen
And all those barbarous notions
That I'm trying to wave
In directions other than yours
And disperse
And disperse
I feel dispersed
Caught in a wind and disappearing