Moderated Expectations

I gave the following introduction Saturday night as I took the stage with my guitar:

"So I want to say a few words first to adjust all of your expectations.

You see, like 10 - 15 years ago, I used to play guitar. I used to write songs. I used to perform. But then I stopped. And since then I really haven't.

A little over a year ago, I was talking to Derek and saying that I missed writing and playing and being creative in that way. And he said "You should perform at Harrison. It'll be fun!"
Now we all have our little sayings, and any of you who know Derek may know that one of his sayings is "It'll be fun!" and I sort of imagine him encouraging someone into the 7th circle of hell, saying "Don't worry. It'll be fun!"

Anyway, last year was my first time here and I felt nervous about coming at all. So I declined to add performing to an already intimidating experience. But then I came Saturday night and everyone was so supportive and nice and it was such a great atmosphere. Afterward, I was kicking myself for not having taken the risk. So I promised myself that next year, that being this year, I would perform. I would practice and I would perform.

But as some of you know, I've had a difficult year, so needless to say, that didn't happen. I think I picked up my guitar a total of 3 times in the past year, and one of those times was yesterday.

As it turned out, I had a trial that was supposed to start Monday, so I wasn't planning to come this year and truly, I had forgotten about the whole thing. But then that matter didn't end up going ahead and I actually only signed up to come a few days ago, but having totally forgotten about my promise to myself. And then I got an email from Laurie on Thursday saying "anyone who wants to perform, let us know." And that's when it hit me. Shit!

Now, it's been a hard year and I have a million excuses not to do this. And I figured, hey, no one would know the difference. But I would know.

And then I remembered another one of Derek's sayings: "Do what you say you're going to do."

So, here I am. Terribly ill-prepared. No callouses. I've practiced maybe 5 times. I haven't even heard 2 of these songs in several months. I'm not usually like this. I usually over-prepare. I expect that this will be similar to when I said "Blah blah blah" in court. It didn't go over well.

So you are all here simply to indulge me and some stupid promise I made to myself. But nevertheless. If your ears are bleeding by the end of this, I apologise in advance and will take responsibility for that. But if you want to blame Derek, that's cool too.

The first song, none of you will have heard of. It's called "Sleeping Sickness", something which some of you might relate to. It's by an indie Canadian band called City and Colour. I assure you there is a vastly superior version out there.

So, here we go...."