Relative Surplus Value
It's been a hard few days.
It's funny the things you think about when you're doubled over in excruciating physical pain, head over the toilet, holding back your own hair.
It's funny the things that pass through your mind when you come to live and sleep in 5 minute increments, on the bathroom floor in the same small room in the same underwear for over 20 hours, alternately hot and cold.
The concert having been one of the hardest experiences of the past howeverlong, I've decided to newly torture myself by way of various playlists. C'est foux. And I know it. But maybe I'm a glutton for punishment.
It's funny how quickly I adjust to some changes and not others. Suddenly living with Charlie is a perfectly normal part of my life. Of course we can walk to Starbucks, even though I'm still contagious. No problem. Of course we can go drinking until 2 am when I have to get up at 7. No worries.
But then, inevitably, he leaves. And I'm all fucking stupid-ass teary-eyed at the airport.
Then comes the shocker that Bubbles was leaving - for forever - the next morning. And after that, forget it. It's a fucking sob fest in the car. But maybe it's not really about what it seems to be about.
And of course the cotton candy playland fantasy version of Vancouver that is the Olympics ended on Sunday. But at least there are facebook photos for all to remember the madness by.
The next few weeks should be interesting, as adjustments and readjustments take hold. Today, I'm forlorn and caught somewhere between words and wills.
As they say: I'm hard to work with, but all the work is hardly worthless. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.
It's funny the things you think about when you're doubled over in excruciating physical pain, head over the toilet, holding back your own hair.
It's funny the things that pass through your mind when you come to live and sleep in 5 minute increments, on the bathroom floor in the same small room in the same underwear for over 20 hours, alternately hot and cold.
The concert having been one of the hardest experiences of the past howeverlong, I've decided to newly torture myself by way of various playlists. C'est foux. And I know it. But maybe I'm a glutton for punishment.
It's funny how quickly I adjust to some changes and not others. Suddenly living with Charlie is a perfectly normal part of my life. Of course we can walk to Starbucks, even though I'm still contagious. No problem. Of course we can go drinking until 2 am when I have to get up at 7. No worries.
But then, inevitably, he leaves. And I'm all fucking stupid-ass teary-eyed at the airport.
Then comes the shocker that Bubbles was leaving - for forever - the next morning. And after that, forget it. It's a fucking sob fest in the car. But maybe it's not really about what it seems to be about.
And of course the cotton candy playland fantasy version of Vancouver that is the Olympics ended on Sunday. But at least there are facebook photos for all to remember the madness by.
The next few weeks should be interesting, as adjustments and readjustments take hold. Today, I'm forlorn and caught somewhere between words and wills.
As they say: I'm hard to work with, but all the work is hardly worthless. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.
posted by venbot | 1:06 p.m.
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