While we get caught up - Part 2

Not scared by those planes
Anymore
They fly low
And the glass shakes
And I look up from this here desk
And I watch it glide by
In this blue sky
And I smile
Remembering the day
When I my heart broke
In January
Years ago
Dreaming of a thousand
Words and notes unshared
But I'm not there
Anymore

And the universal difference
Between that day and this
Because I know
That you're not
On the other end
Of something
That can't be overcome
But just a button
Just a finger bent
And a call

I know where I can find you
On the right side
Of goodbye
And don't worry
Amongst the monotony
And the torture
Will be pebbles thrown
And ripples formed
This time you will hear me
When I call

Comminuted

I was comminuted by the loss of you
To keep from shattering
I avoided the sight
Or recognition
You got in a car
And drifted away
Into the night sky
With nothing acknowledged
And nothing said
Like a balloon that I let go of
For no good reason
Only to land on the other side
Of our ignorance

And I stood blowing smoke rings
Toward the moon
On my new futon
Wondering if you were wondering too
But imagining you sleeping
Not up at mad hours with me
And better for it
Without my damage dragging you down

And in that well traveled gulf
I turned myself
Into knots and survival
Blinded like a horse
To anything beyond
My outstretched hand
Feeling for the next drop off
Baiting an excuse
The weight of my secret loss
And inability to express
And we would turn to dust
And no one would know

I envisioned evolution
And time lapsed worlds for you
While I stuck to the form
Of 1998 carved in porcelain
Never able to overcome
My mixed messages or immaturity
But in my final hours
I would only manage
To lay dying
With your name on my lips
Still waiting

There's a Place

I found the following on a scrap of Fairmont Hotels paper in the trunk of my car:

There's a place in the snow
Where you burried
All the good things
We used to know

There's a place in your ear
Where the whispers live
From all the secrets
That we used to share

And I've got no way
To keep this train
Chugging on my own
I can't get there alone

There's a push at the station
There's a horse without a carriage
There's a steam train rolling
And my heart feels made of coal

There's a door
That was never meant
To be opened.